How to take a quick Self-Compassion break

Sometimes, in the moment, self-compassion can be hard to find. We get lost in the overwhelm of strong emotions which pull us into the spiralling whirlwind of our minds.

In these times, it’s easy to lose clarity or perspective and simply forget to give ourselves self-compassion when we most need it. So having a box of self-compassion tricks up your sleeve to pull out when you’re in the haze of emotion, some simple steps to follow, can be really helpful.

A great simple practice for this is the Self-Compassion Break, developed by Kristen Neff, the leading self-compassion researcher. When we’re experiencing something difficult that brings up strong emotions, like sadness, anxiety, doubt or anger, it’s a quick way of offering ourselves compassion. It can be really useful to break a loop of negative thinking and pull ourselves back into the present moment.

As researched by Kristen Neff, self-compassion consists of 3 components: Mindfulness, Common Humanity and Kindness. The Self-Compassion Break uses these components by bringing a moment of recognition to the painful emotions we’re experiencing, a reminder that we all share these feelings at some point, and an opportunity to be kind to ourselves.

1. A moment of mindfulness

Bring awareness to what you’re experiencing whether it’s doubt, fear, sadness. Anything you’re feeling suffering from. Acknowledge it and say to yourself gently, “This is hard / This hurts / This is a moment of suffering.”

Take a deep breath into your belly. Exhale.

2. Common humanity

Know that you’re not alone. The shared emotions we feel are universal, everyone experiences them at some point in their lives. Acknowledge this shared experience which helps us feel connection and eases pain. Say to yourself, “I’m not alone / This is how it feels when a person struggles in this way / We all feel this.”

Feel where you’re experiencing the emotion in your body - your heart, your stomach, your chest - and place a soothing hand over it.

3. Kindness

Show yourself kindness for your suffering. Ask yourself, “What do I need to hear right now?” Offer words of kindness to yourself, “May I know I am worthy / May I know I am strong / May I forgive myself.”

If you find it hard to find the right words, think what you would say to a friend in this situation, what words of comfort would you offer them? See how it feels to offer the same soothing words to yourself.

I hope you find this practice helpful. I often share practices and tips like this over on my Instagram @trustandbloom_, I’d love to connect with you there and find out if this self-compassion break gave you some comfort.

With love,

Suzi x