Part 2: How I healed boredom
When the shape and size of our lives shrinks when we find ourselves housebound or bedbound with chronic symptoms, in its place often sits boredom and lack of fulfilment. We can’t bring joy to our lives in the same ways we may have used to or want to. Our minds become consumed with symptoms and healing, we forget the life that may exist outside the walls we find ourselves in and think we can only come back to that when we recover.
That’s not the case. We don’t have to wait until we’re better to bring in joy and meaning where it’s possible. We don’t have to wait to expand our world in the ways we’re currently able.
It’s precisely bringing in excitement, passion, joy and purpose that supports the nervous system and will lead you forward on the path to recovery. If you haven’t already, read Part 1: How boredom affects healing to understand more on this.
What I learnt as I begun to heal boredom
As I expanded my life, I learnt a lot along the way, including how to approach alleviating boredom in a way that can enhance your healing and bring safety to your nervous system.
Do anything
Try anything and don’t overthink it. Try anything you’ve ever wondered about, ever had an inkling you might be interested in. Find a way to do it within your current situation and experiment with it. Find the things you enjoy doing. Maybe it’s crochet, learning how to edit videos, learning calligraphy, growing veg from seeds, learning a new language with Duolingo.
Anything you’ve ever looked at someone else and thought, ‘I’d like to do that,’ do it. What’s stopping you? Why not you too? What might be the next small steps to begin doing some of these things in your life today?
Do it for you
If you’re able, maybe you’re thinking of volunteering for others, from home or in person. Maybe you’re wanting connection and thinking how you can support others to satisfy your need to be of service. These things are ok when they come from a place of genuine joy on your part. When the things you’d be doing fill you up because they’re satisfying your own needs.
However, we need to be mindful of when we’re wanting to do these things because we’re searching for external validation or because we’re hoping to be liked to feed our sense of worth. If you relate to people-pleasing behaviours, ask yourself if you’re doing this to please yourself or please others at your own expense.
The most important thing is that you feel genuine fulfilment, purpose and joy from the ways you’re expanding your world. And not because it’s expected of you.
It can be difficult to see the truth of our actions. Especially if these are patterns we’ve always done. Here’s some journal prompts to ask yourself to understand the why behind what you’re doing:
What am I hoping to gain from this?
How am I hoping to feel by doing this?
What has led me to do these things in the past?
Am I doing this for me, really?
Watch perfectionism
Many of us with chronic symptoms find ourselves doing perfectionism and this is a classic case where perfectionism could creep in (it did for me at first!) Trying to find the best thing we could be doing that we’re going to enjoy the most. Spending time thinking about all the options and thinking which one is going to fulfil us the most, in the best way, before we’ve even tried anything. Trying to define the outcome before we’ve even started.
One word: Experiment. Take risks. Just try and see. You don’t have to carry on if you find you’re not enjoying it. This approach will lead you to new things, it takes the pressure of how you feel when you’re doing them and you’ll find your life expands in ways you weren’t expecting.
You also don’t need to do everything you think of to perfect the list of things you come up with. And neither do you need to do them perfectly, take a beginner mindset, and enjoy the process rather than the outcome. Allowing yourself to be terrible can actually feel quite good!
And all that will ease your nervous system and feed into your healing.
The brain loves new things
Part of this process is distracting our brains from the old patterns, habits, routines it's created. Keeping our minds engaged so we don’t get lost in ruminating, negative thoughts or focusing on symptoms. This is even more effective when we’re doing something brand new, novel and learning something we’ve never done before as our brains will be even more fully engaged.
I found myself learning the ‘cup song’ from Pitch Perfect which was suggested to me and I had a lot of fun doing it! Completely useless skill really but the focus, laughter, fun and novelty engaged my brain fully and got all those new neural pathways on the go! So effective, especially if you’re also doing brain training as part of your recovery.
Ideas of things to do
I did all sorts along my recovery journey - colouring, drawing, learnt to knit, learnt some Spanish, tried out playing bass guitar, dancing, the cup song, learnt calligraphy, made cards, jigsaws, learnt embroidery, tried out sewing techniques to upcycle old jeans, wrote poetry, learnt Qi Gong, tried out a Tai Chi class and being part of a choir when I was physically able, got into essential oils, started growing veg, walked new routes when I was able.
I don’t do all of these things now, not even half of them, (although, I do still make sure I fill my life with things purely for enjoyment.) The point isn’t to make everything a lifelong hobby. The point is to expand your world beyond the experience of illness, to find some enjoyment and fulfilment. That’s why embracing the experiment rules and non-perfectionism helps.
Think outside of your current horizon - go stargazing, learn astrology, send postcards, write stories, make a photo album, curate playlists, learn a language, an instrument. Literally anything and everything!
Search Instagram, Pinterest, YouTube for ideas. With the wealth of information out there for free, you don’t even necessarily need to spend much money to do it. Even reading different books or listening to different podcasts that you wouldn’t usually do can be a brilliant way to expand your world and find new ways of bringing fulfilment into your life.
What have you ever wondered about doing? Now’s the time to do it!
When your life begins to open up in new ways and you engage your mind with fulfilling distraction, your identity becomes more than just someone who is chronically sick. You experience new emotions, like joy, gratitude, satisfaction, pride, rather than fear, boredom, helplessness, hopelessness. These emotions and states can shift the nervous system from dysregulation into regulation. It can seem too simplistic, too unrelated to the pain and suffering you experience when you’re ill, but don’t underestimate the impact this can have on your nervous system and your healing journey.
Fulfilment and purpose are powerful medicine. Bring them into your life and see what shifts.
Much love,
Suzi xx
If you want support with going deeper on how boredom might be affecting your healing and how to heal it, some 1:1 coaching with me might benefit you. Find out more about the 1:1 coaching I offer or get in touch.