Part 1: How boredom affects healing
Something not talked about much in the mindbody healing space and brain training work is boredom. Understanding this through mickel therapy was a big piece of the puzzle for me. (You can learn more about mickel therapy in this recovery interview I did or read my review of recovery programmes that helped me recover from ME/CFS).
Before my most severe relapse of ME/CFS, when I was living with a relatively good level of health, without realising it I felt boredom. There was boredom in the freelance writing clients I worked with, boredom in the connections I had, boredom through disconnection from myself, boredom in my creative life.
Then, when my world came crashing down and I succumbed to my bed for the next 2.5 years, there was most definitely boredom. The limit of my capacity became TV shows, podcasts and audiobooks, and even then only sometimes. Whilst I’m immensely grateful for the genuine entertainment and interest this brought to my days, we know only too well this isn’t much of a life. Days spent in bed, contained in one room, breed boredom.
Beyond our basic needs, we are beings that have the capacity and drive for so much variety and colour in our lives. If you were to create the picture in your mind of a full life, what would it look like? No doubt, there would be a mix of joy, laughter, love, movement, expression, connection, new skills, new achievements, new projects, creativity, expansion, passion, experience, adventure, fun, accomplishment, hard work, moments of stillness, moments of quiet, moments of zest. What brings us these things may be different between us all but the substance of a full life is the same. I was missing so much of this.
What underlies boredom?
The elements of boredom I felt in my life when well translated into more boredom as my life was reduced to living in my bed. Underlying that daily boredom is a lack of purpose, a lack of meaning, a lack of fulfilment. A lack of what energises us, what brings us joy, what lights the fire in our belly to move through our lives with passion. The reasons we’re doing what we’re doing, what we’re living for, beyond the capitalist society that breeds a life of unfulfilling jobs and a life of 9-5 plus Netflix.
That lack manifests in our body as fatigue and not surprising really. If you feel lacklustre about your life, if things are a bit ‘meh’, there’s nothing driving you, nothing you feel excited about, no passions igniting your soul, no variety in your days or weeks, how would you imagine you’d feel? How would that show up in your body?
How is boredom connected to our health?
When we’re not aligning with more fulfilment in our lives, once we dig beneath the surface, we find the reasons why. Exploring and understanding the limiting beliefs underneath what we’re *not* doing points to ways our nervous system doesn’t feel safe. Boredom is a consequent emotion from the behaviours we’re doing, and the actions we take (or don’t take) ultimately arise from the state of our nervous system. For example, if we’re in a freeze shutdown state, we feel hopeless and unmotivated so reaching out and engaging in new things or finding the energy to explore is more difficult.
Boredom, therefore, almost becomes a product of our beliefs and state, which in turn continues to fuel that state. A cyclical process that can be unlearned as we expand our world and make a conscious effort to bring in new, joyful, fulfilling things and take action.
Some limiting beliefs/patterns related to boredom:
Maybe we don’t engage with fulfilment because we’re completely disconnected from ourselves and what we enjoy
Maybe we have a limiting belief that we’re not worthy of having fun and living a fulfilling, abundant life
Maybe we have a limiting belief that it’s selfish to take care of our needs in this way
Maybe we have a limiting belief that life is only about work and being productive, everything else is a ‘nice-to-have’, not a necessary part of life
Maybe we have feelings of unworthiness that limit us from choosing things that feel good
Also, in relation to health, the field of positive psychology has established a sense of accomplishment and fulfilment in life to be one of the key aspects we all need for wellbeing in their concept of PERMA (read more about that here). Research into lung cancer chemotherapy patients has even shown that using a PERMA positive psychological intervention, which included having a plan for bringing meaning and achievement into the patients’ lives, positively impacted their fatigue, level of hope and level of negative emotions (Tu et al, 2021).
Boredom and purpose
Purpose or fulfilment often shows up in people’s minds as what to do for work. Even whilst bedbound, I could feel the effect that lack of purpose was having on me. I became focused on finding ‘my thing’, ‘my calling’, what it was I’m ‘supposed’ to be doing in life. As if there was just this one thing that would magically have all the answers and I’d be saved…if only I could work out what it was. But purpose isn’t only about the work we do.
What is purpose?
Purpose has been defined as, ‘deriving meaning from daily experiences, having goals that are attainable, and a sense that life is important and worth living.’ Purpose can be about engaging in activities you find meaning in or that you lose yourself in, or about pursuing goals that make you feel a sense of accomplishment. That’s why what brings one person a sense of purpose is different to someone else, we are all unique beings with different interests and passions who derive meaning from different things.
So purpose is not just about the job you do. It’s about all the small things that make up your life and bring you joy. The soul connections you have with others, the creativity that lets your mind wander, the moments with nature that bring an inspiring moment of awe and connection, the hobbies and ways you find meaning in the world, the ways you can be of service to others, the ways you express what you care about, what you do that connects you to your heart.
These small things add up to our sense of fulfilment, our sense of who we are and why we’re here. From there, we can begin to understand what it is we want our wider purpose to be in the world, what service we want to bring to others to make up our sense of wholeness.
Don’t wait
The smallness of our lives with chronic illness can be hard but don’t wait until you’re better to bring in joy and meaning where you can. Don’t wait to expand your world in the ways you’re currently able. It is precisely bringing in excitement, passion, joy and purpose that supports the nervous system and will lead you forward on the path to recovery.
Read Part 2: How I healed boredom to learn ideas how to heal boredom and what I learnt along the way.
Much love,
Suzi x
If you want support with going deeper on how boredom might be affecting your healing and how to heal it, some 1:1 coaching with me might benefit you. Find out more about the 1:1 coaching I offer or get in touch.
