21 things to reconnect with my true self
Getting to know myself. The process my true self was asking for all along. And it took 17 years of chronic illness and a 30th birthday until I finally succumbed to learning to know. So how did I get here?
It seems strange to boil down such a deep, intense and heartfelt process into a list to put on the internet, and it goes without saying a journey of self-discovery is a personal one, but if you feel a knowing arising inside you, a true self that’s asking to be heard, I hope this helps you to listen.
What’s helped me to reconnect...
Journaling (reflect, reflect, reflect)
Increasing my self awareness (through mindfulness, noticing my thoughts and meditation)
Understanding and embracing my character strengths
Acknowledging my achievements
Writing gratitude, dream and achievement lists
Learning to feel into my body so I can understand what actually brings me joy
Acting on the things that bring me joy
Realising no-one else’s opinion of you will ever make you feel enough if it doesn’t come from you first
Labelling my emotions (this post may help you understand how to label emotions a little more)
Reframing negative thoughts and core beliefs
Understanding my values
Reflecting on what I don’t want
Learning to check in with my emotions and reactions in the moment
Learning self-compassion
Understanding the effect and seasons of my monthly cycle
Trying new things out and easing expectations on how they should go
Remembering and connecting to what I enjoyed as a child
Getting more comfortable with not wearing make-up
Affirmations (or positive statements)
Building assertiveness
Yoga
My experience
I reflected on my thoughts, what my negative self-talk was, I questioned it, I looked at where it had come from. Over and over again. And again. And again.
I looked back to what I enjoyed as a child and reconnected with her. I wrote letters to her, asked what her emotions were, felt and released her suffering. Now she guides me all the time.
I asked and searched within myself, exploring how everything made me feel. From social connection to how I engaged in activities to how I talked to and treated myself.
I tried new things, I sought out joy, I savoured the things that made me feel good, I focused on the positive, I learnt to be gentle with myself.
And I am still doing these things, it’s a continuous practice. To keep checking in, to keep reflecting, to keep getting to know my body, my emotions, to keep reminding myself to be proud of myself.
A continual process
I don’t think there’s an end point. A time when you know all there is to know because we are ever-changing, ever-evolving beings. As is the world we commune with which is, in turn, continually shaping us.
So in this life of shifting and moving, we need to find the constant, stable ground within us. So that we have something to hold onto, something to ground us when there is chaos all around, something to lean into for strength and trust when the outside is unknown.
How can we find stability outside if there is only conflict and distrust within?
That constant, stable ground gives you resilience. It gives you a place to live and grow and flourish in. It brings you home to knowing yourself fully.
I’ll be going into the practices you’ve read above on my blog and over on my Instagram in the coming weeks. My wish for you is to connect with yourself truly and deeply for that is where true peace, ease and happiness lies.
With love,
Suzi x
If you want help with reconnecting with your true self, my 1:1 coaching sessions could be for you. Please get in touch to find out how you could be one of my case studies for free.
If you want to learn how to understand yourself and your emotions more, The Feelings Wheel may help you. Or maybe you feel you need to offer yourself more self-compassion with a quick self-compassion break.